I’m trying really hard to work on establishing healthy boundaries to protect my sweet nature and allow myself the respect I deserve. Slowly I have been building this tough exterior of skin to protect my marshmallow insides. And that’s okay. But I fear that it is now hardening me and that’s the one thing I never want to lose, my softness. I have always been very selfless and compassionate and I will go that extra mile and more to help others. The problem with this is that some people I love and care about have used this to there advantage to take and take of me. My healthcare team and my closest friends have been trying to drill it into me that these kind of people are destructive to me and quite frankly don’t deserve me. I have always believed in never giving up on anyone and thus it is not in my nature to cut ties. Over the past twelve months while I have been becoming more confident in who I am and have understood my value as a person I have had to either distance myself or cut ties with these people. It’s extremely hard and painful and I have found myself in times of vulnerability going back on some of these boundaries in hope that these people might learn from there mistakes. Sadly they drop the ball every damn time and I’m kicking myself for giving them another chance. I have learnt not to trust the words people say and instead there actions. The cliché is true…actions do speak louder than words, or more accurately words mean nothing if not followed by actions. Whilst I am proud of myself for my own personal growth, I must or rather I choose to not let these experiences jade and harden me. I do this by cultivating the beautiful relationships I have that are healthy, inspiring and equal. Here is to fruitful change.
Love Ashleigh xox